D'espairsRay - Mirror [review]

a.k.a. Review number 7, guys. Exciting stuff.

So, if you haven't read the title, you'll most likely be wondering what awful-album-you've-never-heard-of I'll be reviewing today. For those of you who are more observant, you'll have noticed I'm reviewing Mirror by D'espairsRay. Shall we get on with it then?

Ah but wait. First, I must point out, that I am entirely unsure about what to think of D'espairsRay. I'm hardly a rabid fanboy of theirs, but at the same time, I'm not consigning them to the metaphorical music rubbish bin of doooooooooooooom. And, as such, this review will probably be the least biased one yet. Hooray.

^I would ask what the hell is up with the album art, but that would be rude :S

So. Track one. "Damned". No, they're not all that happy a band. A single looping guitar riff for 40 seconds. Fair enough. Then, an awesome scream at about a minute in. Now would be the perfect time to talk about Hizumi's vocals. Certainly, his screams are incredible. Unfortunately, his actual singing voice is a sort of semi-operatic one that may put some people off. I think the awesomeness of his screams should offset the slightly meh main vocals for most people. But I love his voice anyway. Oh right, the actual song? It's fine. But the band is just getting warmed up...

Song number twoooo. "Trickster". This is actually a really solid song from D'espairsRay (or Despa, if you're feeling especially lame). Hizumi's voice, for once doesn't feel out of place (especially the screamy bridge about halfway through the song :D ) and, well, need I say more? Love it.

Third Track. It's name is "Mirror". It opens with synth. Synth. Oh dear. What is the world coming to? On certain bands (Girugamesh springs to mind) I'll let it slide. Here, it doesn't work. Sorry guys. Chorus is horrible. Song is horrible. KILL IT WITH FIRE.

"Sixty∞Nine". Wait isn't that a sex...oh, never mind. Song's definitely not to my tastes, until it takes a dramatic turn at around 2:30. Then we like it. There also seems to be an irritating amount of synth in this song as well. It's just not called for. 'Nuff said.

Next song is "Kogoeru yoru ni saita hana". The title's something about flowers...i think. Hmm. Can't be bothered to check right now.I can't stand this song. It's so...pop. There, I said it. About as good as having your face attacked by a zebra.

Suddenly, the album takes a dramatic increase in terms of quality :D

And then we have "Screen". It's a really pretty sort of song. One of those unexpectedly calm songs that takes your breath away (see "Glass Skin" by Dir en Grey for another example of a song like this). So much awesomes. Yep, "awesomes". This song becomes so good that it breaks my grammar. w00t!

LOST SCEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEENE. Or, err, "Lost Scene" if you're a normal person (I'm not, by the way. I'm weird). Suffice to say, this is my favourite song on here, and it almost makes up for the flaws of the songs that come before it. The song that comes after it, "Hollow" is okay, too. And theirs a "la-la-la-laaa-ing" bit, punctuated by screams. What's not to like? :P

"Closer to Ideal" opens by sounding very much like a Girugamesh song. Then Hizumi sings. Then it sounds like something Despa would do. Obviously :S An alright song, which admittedly, has moments of downright fantastic. Okay, as a whole, the song is very good. I'll give them that. Did I mention it goes on for six minutes?

"Angeldust". Despite the girly-sounding name, it's arguably the heaviest song on here. Hey, you don't see me complaining. Nice song. Very nice song.

"Squall". Sounds weirdly like a Hyde song. A huge change of pace, and, well, I really like it. Even though there will be haters of this song, I really don't care. It's wonderful.

Finally on the album (excluding the European bonus track "Desert", which wasn't much good anyway) is Kaleidoscope. Much as you'd expect an album like this to end. Fairly inoffensive, alright guitar solo. Two words: let down.

The conclusion? I don't think I'm a Despa fan. Some of their songs are alright, I guess, but others will make you want to tear your ears off. Or maybe just your earphones, if you're not a huge fan of masochism :P

C+

Lostprophets - Start Something [review]

a.k.a. more good things from Wales. No sheep jokes please ;)

Okay, I love the lostprophets, I've done a really bad job of hiding it too :P Also, I've known them since waaaay before they became mainstream, so don't start. And this is my favourite album by them. (though I'm a huuuge fan of thefakesoundofprogress and Liberation Transmission, too).


^Album art. Made of awesome. And the colour black. A lot of that.

So. Start Something. Without a doubt, this is the most agressive 'prophets album. From the opening track "We Still Kill the Old Way" through to the magnificent finale "Sway", its one helluva ride. Right. I've ranted long enough. On with the actual review, methinks. Heh, methinks. What a word.

Track numero uno. "We Still Kill the Old Way". Catchy, loud, and obnoxious. Then "To Hell We Ride" is track two. Another amazing piece of musicality. But all this is just filler. Fantastically, epically, awesomely incredible (yeh, adverbs run wild and free here) filler, which any other band would be happy with as the main event, as it were, of their album. But not the lostprophets. They go one better.

Track three. "Last Train Home". It is, without doubt, a masterpiece. Everything rock should be, and all too rarely is. Easily one of my favourite songs of all time. Somewhat a less impressive achievement when you realise my music collection consists largely of Japanese metal :P

"Make A Move" is the next amazing song on here. The video's pretty cool too (random comment #1). By this point, you wonder if this album could possibly get better. And it does. Wow, that sentence seems really redundant :S Um, anyway, after Make A Move is "Burn, Burn". It should be our national anthem. Hey, it would make various sporting events more interesting :)

"I Don't Know" is great. An incredible solo and some of the strongest vocal work on the whole album can be found in this marvellous track. Yes, I did just say marvellous. "Hello Again" is a tidy little song with a neat instrumental at the end. The weakest track on here, but hey, it's still good. Track 8, "Goodbye Tonight" is very very good. It's like (dodgy analogy alert!) "I Don't Know"'s more chilled out cousin.

Then in comes the track after which the album is named. Start Something. Intro is cool. Vocals, both sung and screamed, are also good, and just what the album needed after a two-track lapse into slightly calmer music. After that is the equally brilliant "A Million Miles", which is another great song. Track 11 is a little bit amazing. "Last Summer". If I could drive, I would say it was the ultimate driving song. But I can't. Damn. Anyway, an inspirational work, which shows how far the lostprophets have come in terms of emotional maturity.

Track 12, I'm told, the Americans didn't get. They probably don't deserve it anyway (not that I have anything against our cheese-eating cross-Atlantic friends). The heaviest song on here by a mile, and the best-titled too: "We are Godzilla You Are Japan". Highly recommended.

Finally, the album ends with a soothing instrumental, namely "Sway". Running for 10 and a half minutes, you have to be pretty hardcore to listen to it all. Especially seeing as the last two minutes are one sustained note. I like this song :)

I have no problems in awarding this album full marks; you really didn't need five hundred words to tell you what was staring you in the face from the start: GET THIS ALBUM.

A*

Wii - De Blob [review]

I thought I'd try something a little different today, and try reviewing a video game for a change. Stop whining. It's my blog, I shall review what I like :P

The game I'm reviewing today is, without a doubt, not to everyone's tastes, but I like it. No idea why, but I do. I am of course, referring to de Blob. When this game came out, like three people bought it. If you were not one of those three, punch yourself in the face now. By the time you come back round, you might appreciate good games.

^Box art is slightly insane.


^Though Japanese Box Art is unquestionably more awesome.

Yes, okay, it's for the Wii. Yes okay, 'Wii' sounds like a bodily function. Yes, it looks like a kids game. YES. I KNOW. YOU CAN SHUT UP NOW. But, let's face it, anyone with even a half-decent taste in games will have to suffer for their art :P Especially if said taste in games is Nintendo.

In recent times, the Wii has become a bit of a joke. Not because of its name, most people have got over that. But even myself, once a dedicated fan of the Big N (indeed, rumour has it my first sentence was "Playstation smells."), can see that most the games being released for it are all stupid, inspid, and aimed at gullible grandmothers (of course, there are exceptions, but you I speak the truth and you know it). Anyway, that's my little rant over.

However, a year or so ago when this game was released, I bought it. I have no idea why. After all, THQ aren't exactly known for the quality of their games, are they? But there was something about that blue fellow on the box that made me buy it. And tell you what, I'm glad I did.

Right, the plot is awesome. Some little black things came (the dastardly INKT Corporation) and stole the colour from the world. So then you have to restore colour to the monochrome world of de Blob. Yeah, real 'awesome', I hear you say. But it's great, and the amusing characters really speed the plot along smoothly.

^De Blob: Not a game for the colour blind :P

Graphics: As you can tell from the (slightly rubbish) screeny above, the graphics are really nice. And I'm not just saying that. Sure, it may look alright in screenies, but when you see it in motion, complete with fluid and convincing animation as paint sprays everywhere, you'll be left no choice but to agree with me.

Sound: The sound in this game, a nice mix of jazz and funk (and some other stuff) is nice, and really blends in with your surroundings. Better still, its customisable. The more you paint of a certain colour, the more a particular instrument will play in the background. Nice one ;) The sound effects are also pretty spot-on

Gameplay/Replay Value: Not that much variation, but it never becomes stale. You will have a ridiculous amount of fun playing de Blob. Controls work really well, despite the Wiimote's notorious lack of accuracy. The multiplayer gives it some extra legs too.

So, in conclusion, you have to love it. Simple as.

A*

Senses Fail - Still Searching [review]

Ah, the festive season is well and truly upon us. As such, I thought I'd celebrate by...er...writing another review. How my life goes. The band in question today is Senses Fail. Now, Senses Fail have been one of my favourite bands for quite some time, which is remarkable seeing as I generally despise anything with a humorous accent (i.e. an American one). I remember the day I discovered this amazing band well. I was quite (quite?!) bored, so I typed 'fail' into Spotify. I have no social life , okay?! The results that fateful search returned were anything but 'fail'. Senses Fail are great :) (right, that's my mindless plug for the day over and done with).

But which one of their albums? Their debut, Let it Enfold You? Their incredible follow up album, Still Searching? Or perhaps the more mellow (by that I mean 'not-as-good') third album, Life is Not a Waiting Room? In the end, I opted for Still Searching. Don't ask why. I might review Let it Enfold You at some stage. If you're nice to me :P

^Some cheery album art for you. Crazy.

Right, so, this album opens with 'the Rapture'. it's an odd little beast, as it has NO RELATION WHATSOEVER to any of the other songs on the album. Hmm...

So, glazing over that odd little opener, the album starts at full pace, and does not slow down until the very end. The song which kicks it all off is Bonecrusher. Yes, they are emo, however did you guess? But good emo (oxymoron?), so stick with it. Great song. Simple, yet so awesomesauce. Hmm, I've never quite understood that word :S
Let's look at the urban dictionary definition for it... (do we have to?)

Definition: It's like applesauce, only made with awesomes.

I see...kinda. Anyway, moving on. After putting such a tune as that at the front of the album, I wondered how they might follow up such an incredible song. They decided to follow it up, fortunately, with something even better. Sick or Sane is it's name, PURE WIN is its (apostrophe? no apostrophe? ah, screw it) game. Je l'aime.

The next two tracks, Can't Be Saved and Calling All Cars are kind of like, musically speaking, cousins. Similar, yet somehow quite different. That analogy was somewhat crap. Never mind. They're both really good. As is Shark Attack, an in-your-face emo attack on your ears.

Track 7 on Still Searching (the imaginatively titled Still Searching) is every bit as obnoxious and noisy as its predecessor Shark Attack. Normally, for any other reviewer, this would be a bad thing. But here, it means that this song is GREAT, especially the screamy chanty bits (you'll see). I make my own damn rules :P

Track 8 is heavily reminiscent of Can't be Saved. They call it 'To All the Crowded Rooms'. I call it an awesome track. Especially when it breaks down at the end, surprisingly (or not) with some more screaming. :)

Lost and Found. (That's the next song on this album, by the way.) It's a tad whiny, at the start anyway. Then it goes good. Very good. An example of what Senses Fail can really do, when they're feeling mature that is. As usual, Buddy (yeah , that's his name. Poor guy.) delivers a strong vocal performance. I like it, in case you haven't already noticed.

Every Day is a Struggle. It opens a little crazily, but quickly turns into another classic tune. The chorus makes me happiful. The next track on here, the peculiarly entitled "All the Best Cowboys have Daddy Issues". Perhaps something I'd expect to hear on the soundtrack to Sonic the Hedgehog (speaking of which, all his games as of late are pure unadulterated pap. Remind me to review one sometime). It's another solid, maybe even great track. No complaints here :)

Just as all the best cowboys have daddy issues, all the best albums feature an instrumental or two. The instrumental on here is 'Negative Space'. It's just padding really, and follows nicely into the final song- The Priest and the Matador. It's about a guy who dies by lobbing himself from a church roof. Lovely. Have fun with that. A good song, nonetheless, and a nice way to end the album.

It's time for me to go now. Sorry. But first, I shall conclude. Yes, I shall! Yes! YES!!!!!!1!!!!!one!!!!!eleven!!!!!!
er...yes? So, anyway. Senses Fail are not revolutionary in any way. Nor should you pretend they are. However, you can't deny this album is great fun. Simply put, by this album. Please.

B+

The GazettE - DIM [review]

a.k.a. Buy. This. Now.

Hey again. Everyone's favourite AWESOME REVIEWER PERSON here. This time, I'm reviewing what can only be described as one of the best albums I have ever heard. Ever. Review ends.


So, the CD opens with a haunting instrumental, namely "Hakuri" (or 剥離, as it should be called, but most of you I'm guessing don't read squiggly). It's an amazing introduction, and one that sets the bar ridiculously high for the rest of the album. But, by God, does it live up to that standard.

Next up comes "The Invisible Wall". A tune to headbang to if ever there was one. Ruki's beautiful vocals switch from singing to screaming and back again seamlessly. Uruha, Aoi, and of course, my personal favourite Reita (the one with the tea towel on his nose) create an epic accompaniment with their guitars and basses. Even Koi on the drums is flawless. Yes, I'm in love. In an entirely non-sexual way, of course ^_^;



^That's them :D

Track the Third - A MOTH UNDER THE SKIN. Another amazing song. This is J-Rock as it should be. If anything, the fourth track, LEECH, improves on an already brilliant start to the album. Then err, we have Nakigahara (泣ヶ原), which goes on for a biblical 7 minutes and 19 seconds. I wouldn't have it any other way :)

The next track to go spinning around your CD player is Erika (エ リ カ). A soothing instrumental which will give you some time to recover after having your senses assaulted continuously for 5 tracks. Trust me, you'll need it, because the next track, HEADACHE MAN, will knock your socks clean off. And possibly your feet too, leaving you with two bloodied stumps. Yeah, it's loud. Unless you listen to it at low volume. Then it's not loud. Duh.

Suddenly, the ear-splitting awesomeness of HEADACHE MAN gives way to the ballad "Guren" (紅蓮). This is, without doubt, one of the more calming songs on the album, and would recommend watching the PV to it (that's promo video (read: music video), to all you J-Rock newbies out there), if only to see one of their guitarists strumming away on a double-necked guitar. Such a good song :')

Then, the um... innovatively titled 13STAIRS[-]1 comes in with one of the best riffs I have heard in a while. And I do mean best. Although the song itself is a little odd. Not one for me. Distress and Coma is a good song though, easily making up for the failings of its predecessor.

Just when I was getting slightly bored with this album, along came another instrumetal. Yeah, another one. There are nine of these in total on the disc (Count 'em). It's alright, and certainly bridges the gap between Distress and Coma and Shiroki Yuutsu (白き優鬱), which by the way, is great.

Track fourteen (big numbers Louise, don't hurt yourself!) on DIM is IN THE MIDDLE OF CHAOS. It's a bit naff. Surprise! Also, hilarious Engrish lyrics:

"Let's deliver nonfiction
A song like misfortune pride
I vomit original pain"

Oh yeah, I vomit original pain too...wait, what?!

Track 16: Ogre. It's a more traditional metal song, perhaps something I'd expect to hear from Deathgaze (who aren't that good by the way).

Finally, the last song rears its not-so-ugly head. "DIM SCENE".... beautiful. It's the perfect way to end a perfect album.

So, in conclusion: "WE ARE THE CAUSE OF YOUR HEADACHE!" chant the boys in black. Yes, yes you are, i thought, staggering off for some Neurofen, and a thoroughly deserved lie down. Best. Album. Ever.

Oh yeah, by the way, this album is seventeen tracks (or an hour) long, and I've refrained from talking about a couple of the instrumentals. So, er, you'll be there for a while. That's my only complaint. But hey, at least it's a GOOD hour, unlike Lady Gaga's debut album (but that, my friends, is another review entirely).

Good lord, this review goes on a bit :S

A*

The Blackout - The Best in Town [review]

a.k.a Welsh....metal?! Heresy!

Hi, it's me again. I know, you've all missed me (both of you, that is), but never fear! I have returned, with another slightly jaded review. Slightly. Anyway, the monstrosity that has been bashing holes in my eardrums for the past hour is certainly...eh...spectacular. The artist? The Blackout (a few of you may know them for their...er....backing screaming on a lostprophets album). The album? The Best in Town. Hell yes, they're modest ;)

Basically, this is, as a whole, a fairly boring album, which means, unfortunately, this review will be BO-O-O-ORING (I have no idea how to pronounce that....). Right. With that out of the way, I'll take a look at the album itself (a novel idea, for sure)


^Album art seems to have a glowing green Jesus standing on a hill for no reason whatsoever. Wonderful.

Well, it starts amazingly, with the 'cleverly' named STFUppercut. A punchy intro riff, screamed vocals gelling perfectly with normal ones to create musical awesomeness.
Yeh, anyway, incredible song...moving on....

Unfortunately, it seems that Sean Smith (the blond one with the cool hair) et al. weren't entirely sure where to go from there. 'Save Our Selves' is slightly less good then it should be. Still a good song, but I was expecting more. Shame. Worse still, 'Top of the World' is whiny, cheesy emo crap. Like, really whiny. there's nothing to distinguish it from 10,000,000 other songs sung by lots-of-eyeliner-wearing, wrist-cutting sad people.

Next up on this spinning disc of Welsh fun is 'The Fire'. I love this song. Lots. It makes me happy. But this album already has STFUppercut. Did we really need another screamy song? Children of the Night, too is pretty good. It reminds me somewhat of 'Save Ourselves', but its substantially better, for some reason. Damn, its boring when I have no complaints, isn't it? :P

Malheuresment (yeh, that's French), the band lapses into REALLY CRAP MUSIC for a long section of this album. You know, just for fun. 'Said & Done' was awful. 'Silent' made me wish made my CD player was indeed silent. 'I Love myself and I Wanna Live' wasn't very good either. By 'This is Why We Can't Have Nice Things' I was seriously considering burning the CD over a nice warm bonfire of the corpses of the band's members (yes, I am violent and disturbed. We all are. Blame society.) Respect for trying to be all grown up, but that's not why we buy screamo albums. The grand finale of TBIT didn't impress either. 'We're going to Hell, so Bring the Sunblock', despite having an awesome name, was pretty meh. Average, even. Screaming. More screaming. Bad lyrics.

So, we can safely conclude that this album is, while not complete and utter crap, is far from good. The Blackout are certainly evolving though, and I look forward to future albums from them :D

Hmm...this blog hasn't had much luck with music thus far, has it? :( If you have any suggestions of albums/films/pretty much anything for me to review, drop me a line in the comments section below :)

C+

Girugamesh - NOW [review]

(a.k.a Yeh, I like japanese rock. Get over it.)
*thunk* *thunk* *thunk*
That's the sound of me bashing my head against the desk as I desperately attempt to comprehend just HOW Girugamesh, once masters of the J-Rock scene, could have got it so wrong.
*thunk*



No doubt you'll have heard hundreds of other whiny teenagers such as myself slagging off the cover, so I won't bother. However, the real tragedy begins once you slip the silicon compact disc into the drive of....well....anything, really. Silence, then:
"Nothing begins, if you don't love yourself....Nothing begins...if you don't take an action....before you regret, just follow us....NOW!" comes the hilarious Engrish voice, followed by a nice little intro. Lovely, I thought, my finger jabbing at the "next" button.

Track 2: bit crash. Satoshi (that's their vocalist, by the way) has a stab at rapping, followed by a guitar riff heavily reminiscent of the intro to Shojo A. Then an alright chorus. But it's nothing new....

Track 3 on this evil disk o' doom is the bizarrely titled NO MUSIC NO REASON. I'll forgive the capitals, because caps lock is CRUISE CONTROL FOR AWESOME. Dodgy synth intro. Unimaginative riff, bit of 'singing'. Yawn, move on.

Track 4: ALIVE. Now, this is a tune. A choon. A CHOOOOOON. (wow, that sounded like a sneeze o.o) But I'd heard it loads before, it being one of the only decent singles they've recently released.

Track 5 on this delectable disk (hmm....I'm pretty sure that's the WRONG word, but never mind) is 'i think i can fly'. Yay, another synth intro! And quite a ...er....groovy one at that. It's a good song though, give it a listen :)

Track 6. BEAST. yeh, it's called BEAST. Even the name is fun to say! What a load of crap this song is. Kill it. Kill it quickly.

Track 7 nobody. If girugamesh are smart, then nobody will claim responsibility for this sorry excuse for a song. See what I did there? Oh yes, I'm witty. Its a fairly bland, relaxed song, though. If that's your thing, then give it a listen. Otherwise, please don't.

Track 8 suiren. Again, one I've heard before, but this is probably the best song on the album. Unfortunately.

Track 9 dirty Story. Yeh, this rocks. Good old Girugamesh.

Track 10 this is the imaginatively named 'GAME'. Satoshi sounds like a silly boy. Please can we forget this song ever happened. It doesnt bite like it should :(

Track 11 yawn....is anyone still reading?

Track 12 we can conclude that this one is stoooooopid. Bland, unimaginative, and just a bit pathetic.

CONCLUSION: Moments of genius, surrounded by agonising minutes of crap. DOES NOT WANT.

E-