This nasty little (I say that, its ridiculously bloated and overlong) specimen is called 'Lateralus' and is by a pretentious American pretender rock band called 'Tool'. Sputnikmusic have praised this album to the point of ass-kissing, so I thought I'd take a quick look at it to see if it lives up to its reputation as a formidable and inventive album.(And I apologise for my dodgy humour in older reviews. No more of that. Also apologise for drubbing in the blink of an eye and MIRROR, whih I have now come to realise are amazing.)
Okay, track one. The Grudge. Derp. Moderately catchy riff that repeats for about an hour. Eventually he spits out a few words in a really annoying voice. Sure, atmospheric...loljk, it's terrible. Hey look, some distorted palm-muting stuff. He has a go at singing. Eugh. Louder bit. He pushes his voice to the height of its three note range. Shouting. Spittting. Gawd, its just like Nickelback. Punchy though, not too bad.
Okay, move on. Track two. Eon Blue Apocalypse and The Patient (yes, two tracks at once- how inventive....wait hang on, that's what we call an introduction). Sounds exactly the same as the last one. Those droning group vocals and 'tortured' singing that, uh, is awful. AVOID LIKE THE PLAGUE.
Track four. I'm seeing a theme, in that none of these songs are any good whatsoever. Oh well, maybe the next bad comedy double act will help ease my pains. 'Mantra' and 'Schism'. I hear moaning. Like a whale taking a really satisfying shite. It stinks about as bad too. Anyhow, to be fair, Schism does have a really catchy bassline. Possibly the one track on the album I don't hate. Slightly unnerving and very atmospherey.
Track six/seven. Its fine, sounds like everything else on this album.
Track eight - the song with teh magic drums. Apparently, the song also killed the vocalists voice for three weeks. Very good, probably the hardcoriest song on the album. Some excellent screaming later on in the song. Impressive, but it comes across as too little variation too late.
TRACK NINE. Um, it's called lateralus. That's about it. There's some sort of mahussive riff going on. Feel like I've heard it before.
Track teneleventwelve. Disposition, Triad, Reflection. Though not in that order. First 'movement' is chillout music, though not necessarily any good. Second movement, reflection, is, surprisingly, a quiet song that ends heavy. Yawn, move on. Guys, its one thing to do essentially the same track several times, but several times on one album? That's a whole other level of musical blasphemy.
Oh well, at least triad has some bite. Some. It's an instrumental. Very listenable, but um, not really the imaginative and intense ride it should be.
Final track, supposedly written in the language of the angels 'Faaip de Oiad" isn't even a song. Is a recording. Of a prank call. Great. Laaaame.
Right, so, overall, what do I think? I think, it has a good foundation for one epic song, but trying to stretch this foundation over an entire album makes the album very repetitive. And boriiiiing. >.>
C+
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